


Paramour

by kissed



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Heavy Angst, I'm Sorry, M/M, Not Happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-24
Updated: 2017-01-24
Packaged: 2018-09-19 18:28:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9454982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kissed/pseuds/kissed
Summary: A conversation in between the sheets of two people in love in the wrong situation





	

**Author's Note:**

> Intended to be a Kaisoo fic but I felt like Kaisoo fics are so abundant and I've been really thirsty for Jaeyong fics tbh!!!!! Thanks for reading :)

 

 _How about we go around the world, we'll take a Caribbean cruise and we'll stop by all the beaches until we get sunburnt skin,_ Jaehyun can feel Taeyong smile. 

 _If you want me to, I could_ , Jaehyun whispers through the thin sheets of the cheap hotel bed they can spare for because bringing him back to his apartment was always almost never the option he doesn’t want Taeyong’s scent lingering hard and crisp on his pillow cases even when he’s not there to wake up to in the mornings, he doesn’t want traces of Taeyong’s presence in his home for the sake of keeping his wits intact. Jaehyun knows he’s not the one Taeyong's kissing goodnight  when he leaves these four walls, when he fastens his belt and swoops down to kiss Jaehyun like he’s not just a dirty little secret, when he backs away from the curb of the hotel and back to the house where Jaehyun knows he belongs. But he doesn’t ask to appease his assumptions because this, _just this_ , sparing a few thousand won from his salary for nights like these had always been enough for Jaehyun's fragile heart. 

Taeyong cradles his body like a fragile doll; scared that if he was even a bit rough he would wreck Jaehyun and create cracks along his flawless porcelain skin, Taeyong doesn’t need to know that Jaehyun is already in shambles, waist deep in emotional instability as he finds ways to make this love affair work, stretch it thin until he can as long as he can still feel Taeyong’s arms around him like this at nights when he’s lonely.

But Taeyong is not just greedy, Jaehyun has fallen in love with the other’s heart enough to wreck himself like this. _I could have loved somebody else, someone better but I chose to love someone like you,_ these thoughts have always been plaguing his mind but the thought of keeping Taeyong has always won over them even when he shivers at night as he tries to find solace in slumber, even when he’s anxious and a home wrecker, keeping Taeyong has always won over fucking reality.

On the other hand, Taeyong knows that Jaehyun is knowledgeable because that’s what caught his eye, Jaehyun’s keenness and impeccable politeness towards people that he interacts with and on top of that he can show an entertaining amount of sass that surprised Lee Taeyong years ago when he had met him way back then. If Taeyong was honest with himself he would yell to the universe that being with Jaehyun has unlocked a whole other level of happiness that he never thought would be possible to achieve but as far as things are, Taeyong tapes his lips and shuts them tight, he lets his touch do all the talking for Jaehyun to feel how much he had fallen in love with him.

 _Imagine, me and you holding Margaritas by the beach with no annoying calls to answer, no people to suck up to, just you and me, Hyun_ , Taeyong whispers back to Jaehyun's hair where it’s a little disheveled and lightly scented of Taeyong, he loves this best. He can imagine his own words, it breaks his heart little by little as he closes his eyes and inhales the air that Jaehyun exhales because after this might be another long wait before he can hold him like this again.

 _That sounds amazing, but I’d like mine to be a Pinacolada_ , Jaehyun chuckles quietly through his heart shaped lips and Taeyong wants to cry, his chest is pounding of words that he cannot say and it’s choking him deep into death.

There’s a long silence before Taeyong could breathe properly to talk, Jaehyun knows Taeyong is struggling but he doesn’t say anything, doesn’t try to help him breathe like a normal person would because he knows he can’t help him even if he wanted to so he waits and waits, just like he always does.

 _I’m sorry, Hyun,_ in a quiet defeated manner, Taeyong apologizes and Jaehyun just turns around to wrap his arms around his lover, tight and heavy just to make Taeyong feel that he’s here, _Taeyong, I’m here, it’s okay,_ he says quietly but he doesn’t say that he understands what Taeyong is apologizing for and tries his best to comfort him until he feels better.

Saying I love you now probably would not make things better for them but those are the words that Jaehyun desperately wants to say during nights like these, his lips quiver but he doesn’t let his arms do the same and keeps them strong because he’s always been Taeyong’s shelter, Jaehyun is not going to stop now.

But when Jaehyun feels the calming of Taeyong’s chest and his breath getting back to normal, eyes shut and sleep deep, Jaehyun murmurs, _I’m sorry too_ and lets a small tear drop fall from his eyes before he closes it completely and tries to find sleep, hoping that when he wakes up that he’ll still be holding Taeyong tight.

  
  
  
  
  



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